Year 11: A Year Beyond a Decade

Year 10 felt encapsulating. The anticipation of it being a close to the hardest ten years of my grief fueled me through the year. The internal narrative, "If I can just make it through this year, then my grief will subside," pulsed through my thoughts. In the decade year of my grief, I got engaged …

The Sunshine that is You and Me

There was a pivotal moment that happened in my life two years ago. I was sitting at the table eating breakfast with my host mom. We ate breakfast most days together, but on this specific morning she was full of questions. I am most often the person who asks the questions no one wants to …

One Shot…Or Maybe Not?

The thing about love is that our society tends to make us believe that there is only one chance; one chance to find love, experience it and perhaps lose it. Cinderella and Prince Charming. Belle and the Beast. Channing and Jenna. Noah and Allie. After a relationship ended, Eminem's Lose Yourself, "One shot do not …

Learning to put myself first.

I am learning to put myself first...even when it hurts. Parts of my childhood and teenage years were consumed with surviving, making me wonder what my ACE score was. An ACE score, "is a tally of different types of abuse, neglect, and other hallmarks of a rough childhood," (Starecheski, 2015). It has been recognized that …

Honesty, Connection, and Grace

One of my dearest friends recently moved back to Montenegro and I keep finding myself yearning for our heart to hearts. Instagram picture shares, emailing, texting and face timing tend to fall short. The other day in one of our limited media platforms, we had a brief conversation that I cannot stop thinking about. We …

The Ides of March

Oh bittersweet March, how I dread you and anticipate you all in the same. I never understood why people who lost loved ones religiously dedicated death dates to ceremoniously mourn...why they would spend that day mourning, posting on their social media accounts and making the rest of us unbearably uncomfortable trying to find comforting words …

A Mother by Different Standards

In the wake of the early 20's of my life. That is where I am and it is in full swing and yet I am beginning to feel something that I have read about before. It is this feeling when the tiny humans you have vested all of your love and energy into begin to …

Friendships that Last a Lifetime

When I make a new friend I immediately commit to a lifetime of friendship. My best friend is the first person I met on the school bus on my first day of kindergarten. We always joke that she is the loyal one, but I think our friendship isn't really a testament to loyalty, but to …

My Mission Statement

Last year when I read Dr. Covey's book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I was encouraged to develop a mission statement that I could live my life by. I read the samples and saw how individualism was pronounced and how values and beliefs were set forward in a timeless presentation. It took many sleepless …

Learning How to Chalkboard Paint: Boldly and Freely

In a congratulatory embrace from my great uncle, I was told how proud everyone was of me. Tears began their descend down his cheeks as he reminded me how much my mom had wanted to go to college;  he reminded me how much she gave up for me. My accomplishments don't merely mark a segment …